November 17, 2011

V

One night, I found my self praying, asking You a quiet of peace to fill up my heart.
I know You saw me, I know You heard me.
I’ve been here for many times before, came and out for a thousand times that i cant account.
I know I wasn’t alone, I know You're there with me
accompanied me shaking with the fear of fear, I was sinking into loneliness I've made
Then, I found my self there..I was dying and helpless
I just cried out to You on my hands. Shaking on my knees.
With my face pushed down against the ground. and my eyes full of tears
You are the One, the Most Merciful.

I learned something today, again..
about these life, about this dunya, not a place of eternal, just a place to live for a while
you can not deny it nor we are..



we talked about a place where you have to worry and brave,
a place where you learn about how to love and what we called to hate
where you have to meet and leave the people you love
the place where it confused you because you just tried to give your best but at the sametime the things that happened was out of your reach
even if you could do that, it doesnt make any sense to stay
because sometimes it just hurt when it doesnt
with the happiness and sadness are only players, waiting in a list for their turn
colaborate with the truth and lies, competing for their place on stage.


And here I am, I was felt from the gravity, and bleed my self, then left me a scar
remain me how weak I am..as a human, as the slave one
Yaa.. Im still here, no power, shiver, with the blankly head and empty inside
Im begging to You, ask for Your blessing..
Just like these moment when You carried of me, and of course You always do it
the moment when You filled up my heart, helping me wiped the tears then I could smile
and You lifted me to humbleness, and covered me with an acute knowledge of my own powerlessness and excruciating need for You.
You are the Peace of the peaceful.
The Strength of the strong.
with the truth only belongs to You, and theres no one unto You.
Then here I am, I am praying for a piece of peace to fill up my heart

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